Not an easy question but now that I have asked it, I am going to have to express some opinion on the matter. If I get some or all of it wrong, don’t chastise me, educate me. After all, I am still learning to be one.
Your body is only PART of who you are, be you male or female. Your genes dictate the shell you are born into and that usually defines who you are SUPPOSED to be. Inside, however, there are hormones and while these are usually ‘in sync’ with your body, often times they are not. Variations in the hormones produced affect the way you think and feel about yourself; how you identify yourself. Should your balance me more female than male, you might be a cross dresser, trans-vestite (usually a fetish type thing) or other trans-gender person.
Sometime the hormones balance so far OFF from your birth gender that you are certain you were born into the wrong body. In this case, you might be a boy trapped in a girl body or vice versa. You are likely to be a trans-sexual and the only real fix for this, along with everything that goes into determining if this is they way you must go, is something called SRS, sexual re-assignment surgery. This, I am told, is not an easy road and fraught with all kinds of personal and professional challenges. Professional help in the form of counseling is essential to achieve a proper post surgical balance. I know several persons who have gone this way and they are happier now that they are the correct person.
One of my dearest friends I have never met in person. We met online when I was still exploring the girl in me and she was just making the painful adjustment from married man to single woman. During those years, we were ‘there’ for each other online, helping each other over those necessary trials. These shared experiences brought up close together and I cherish our history.
As for me, my body is fine but my being is a happy well adjusted woman now that I have fully accepted that part of me. I failed three times as a husband. In retrospect I believe it was, at least in part, due to me having to hide my femme self from everyone around me. Afraid to lose all that I felt was important to me, I lost it anyway. I realized at last that I was incomplete because I could not be ME entirely. Now I am and I haven’t been happier.
I did not touch on my physical body in this brief letter. As important as the various aspects are, they are, mostly window dressing. They help you identify who you you see as being male or female. That breasts are vital to a woman, both emotionally and psychologically, cannot be overlooked. Men, generally haven’t a clue. And many men can’t even see past a woman’s breasts to see HER as a person. Sad.
Who you are is partly defined by the body you were born into, your social conditioning (family and so on), education, and your internal chemistry and adjustments.
We are, who we are. We become what we must.