The first time …

I dressed as a girl was for a Halloween Party at my church.
I was in foster care since the family had been disrupted. All us kids were put in different homes. I had been moved through several different homes until I ended up with a Catholic family in Revere.

This was a tough time for me as all the cards were stacked against me. I was the only Protestant ‘state kid’ in the family. Consequently I could generally do no right.

Anyway, the church I attended was a Baptist Church and this one year they held a Halloween party I really wanted to attend. No one was going to buy me a costume. Someone came up with the idea that, since there were several girls about my age and size, my costume could be made up of little girl clothes. I was what, 4th or 5th grade then. Anyway, I was taken up to the girls bedroom, a place boys were not otherwise permitted, and a dress was selected as my costume. I don’t remember much else about the costume or even the party except this part.

I went into the small restroom and changed shortly after arriving at the party. When I came out people made much of me and how cute I looked. That lasted all of maybe 5 minutes before I changed back to my clothes. I felt nervous, I recall, and I can’t say for sure why except I didn’t feel comfortable with everyone thinking what a cute girl I was.

Everything else about this party is a mystery to me. In fact, this is the first of several life experiences that only key parts of remain in my conscious memory.

I did not willingly don girl attire again until my freshman high school year. One day, alone in the single room I was sharing with my father, I just HAD to dress as a girl. That meant, of course, that I had to get some girl clothing. I knew just the place and amassed an extensive wardrobe of dresses, skirts, blouses and underwear. For breasts I used rolled up socks. I loved trying on the clothes, discarding things that did not fit, keeping others hidden in boxes or suitcases in the cellar. And dressing felt right as well as good. Of course I also loved getting back in my own clothes.

Over the years, I tried to figure out the why of it. I even wondered if my Halloween costume had anything to do with it. Eventually I discarded that theory. I dressed often and stayed dressed as long as I could. Late at night, with a kerchief about my head, I would take solitary walks as a girl loving every minute and at the same time terrified I might get caught, or worse.

Only thing I ever resolved was that I felt right as a girl and loved how I looked in a mirror when I tried to hide that boy part.

From high school to the present, it was a somewhat rocky road. Getting clothes. Throwing them all away. But always getting more in the long run. During my several marriages I even tried my wives clothes on. Lucky for me, all my wives were compatibly sized with me.

Today, in April 2013, I have been living as a girl for over 7 years since I first started going out in public in Sept of 2006. In those years, I would reverse-dress for work. It was necessary. And now that I am retired, my reverse-cross-dressing days are over and Rosaliy is here to stay.

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