Coming of age

Yesterday was my 64th birthday, hence the title of this blog entry.
Last night, my sister and I, and a couple of girlfriends went to see a play, Charlotte’s Web. After the play, our friends took us to dinner to celebrate my ‘coming of age.’

But let me step back into the past, about a week.

After some months of life keeping us apart, the four of us, my sister, myself and our 2 girlfriends, went to The Crown n Anchor Pub for dinner. When we arrived, we were somewhat shocked at how busy the place was. Our friends circled the parking lot several times before a place opened up for them.

Inside, there were people walking around on beautiful costumes. We asked and were informed that it was the birthday of William Shakespeare. We were seated and placed our orders and while we waited for dinner to be served, we hailed one of the costumed people what was going on. Several people had numbers pinned on their costumes and there were cards listing a number of ‘characters’ from Shakespearean plays as well as a non-Shakespearean character. The goal was to figure out who these actors were and to guess the fraud.

Seeing the cards being passed to us, another actor boldly stepped up to our table and plopped down more cards and some pencils. She had wings and a feather in her hair. Clearly her character was PUCK. As my meal was served, she mischievously tried to distract my attention elsewhere in an attempt to filch a french fry. Instead I took her hand and kissed it and held it while we all talked and got to know her better. Later on I did slip her a french fry as she kept coming back to our table. It was a very fun time for us all. She also told us she was part of a ‘play group’ and they were doing Charlotte’s Web the following week on the 28th, which just happened to be my birthday. By the way, her name is Kimm and that evening, she became our new friend.

Later, after we got home, sis and I started looking up ticket prices for events in which we were interested. Sis got tickets to Disney on Ice for Saturday and I got tickets to Charlotte’s Web for Sunday.

Charlotte’s web was well performed and among the cast was one actor in a power wheel chair. Among the cast were adults and children and our new friend Kimm, who played a goose.

If you have ever read the story or seen the animated cartoon version, you will know that Charlotte’s Web is about life, love and the undying friendship of self-sacrifice for a friend. The main charters, and center of the story, are Wilbur, a pig, and her friend Charlotte, a spider. Two more unlikely friends you would ever find anywhere. To save Wilbur from become bacon, Charlotte spun words in her web to point out how special Wilbur was. Exhausted from this sacrifice, and laying her eggs, Charlotte passed away as any spider will. Wilbur, having promised to save Charlott’s eggs, did just that and when they hatched in the spring, they all floated away, all but one who stayed to become Wilbur’s next new friend.

Food for thought: isn’t it interesting that in real life and stories, our children and animals and other creatures can find ways to overcome differences and become friends and we as adults, and our national/world leaders, all too often can’t?

btw: Kimm is our friend. No other distinction is necessary.

The first time …

I dressed as a girl was for a Halloween Party at my church.
I was in foster care since the family had been disrupted. All us kids were put in different homes. I had been moved through several different homes until I ended up with a Catholic family in Revere.

This was a tough time for me as all the cards were stacked against me. I was the only Protestant ‘state kid’ in the family. Consequently I could generally do no right.

Anyway, the church I attended was a Baptist Church and this one year they held a Halloween party I really wanted to attend. No one was going to buy me a costume. Someone came up with the idea that, since there were several girls about my age and size, my costume could be made up of little girl clothes. I was what, 4th or 5th grade then. Anyway, I was taken up to the girls bedroom, a place boys were not otherwise permitted, and a dress was selected as my costume. I don’t remember much else about the costume or even the party except this part.

I went into the small restroom and changed shortly after arriving at the party. When I came out people made much of me and how cute I looked. That lasted all of maybe 5 minutes before I changed back to my clothes. I felt nervous, I recall, and I can’t say for sure why except I didn’t feel comfortable with everyone thinking what a cute girl I was.

Everything else about this party is a mystery to me. In fact, this is the first of several life experiences that only key parts of remain in my conscious memory.

I did not willingly don girl attire again until my freshman high school year. One day, alone in the single room I was sharing with my father, I just HAD to dress as a girl. That meant, of course, that I had to get some girl clothing. I knew just the place and amassed an extensive wardrobe of dresses, skirts, blouses and underwear. For breasts I used rolled up socks. I loved trying on the clothes, discarding things that did not fit, keeping others hidden in boxes or suitcases in the cellar. And dressing felt right as well as good. Of course I also loved getting back in my own clothes.

Over the years, I tried to figure out the why of it. I even wondered if my Halloween costume had anything to do with it. Eventually I discarded that theory. I dressed often and stayed dressed as long as I could. Late at night, with a kerchief about my head, I would take solitary walks as a girl loving every minute and at the same time terrified I might get caught, or worse.

Only thing I ever resolved was that I felt right as a girl and loved how I looked in a mirror when I tried to hide that boy part.

From high school to the present, it was a somewhat rocky road. Getting clothes. Throwing them all away. But always getting more in the long run. During my several marriages I even tried my wives clothes on. Lucky for me, all my wives were compatibly sized with me.

Today, in April 2013, I have been living as a girl for over 7 years since I first started going out in public in Sept of 2006. In those years, I would reverse-dress for work. It was necessary. And now that I am retired, my reverse-cross-dressing days are over and Rosaliy is here to stay.

Separation of Church and State – Conditional ???

Ok. Atheists used our laws to remove the Pledge of Allegiance, because it contains the word God, and any, even silent reflection, as a form of prayer that, omg, someone who believes differently from someone else, might be offended by. AND YET, any politician in a position to draft and/or sign a bill into law about something that offends their “particular form of religious belief” can put that “religious belief” as the core of their legislation.

What is wrong with this picture?

WWS Full MoonCircle

Join our World Wide WWS Full MoonCircle at the Lunar Eclipse on next thursday 25/04/2013. Over 2900 are already joining us.

Just 3 days before my 64th birthday, I will be joining my sisters around the world for my first WWS Full MoonCircle. Not an online event but a spiritual joining. I do not know what to expect, really, but I will be there. Follow the link above to learn more and join in.

Right to Privacy

Amendment IV (from the US Constitution – Bill of Rights)

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

I believe CISPA is essentially Un-Consitutional because it violates this article of the Bill of Rights and effectively voids the entire bill. Passage into law will render ALL matters of privacy non-existent as the government will have applied a back door to gain unlimited access to anything it wants without due process of any kind. The government already has more power over us than it should have. Consider this: “All men are considered innocent until proven guilty in a court of law.” CISPA effectively changes that to “All men are guilty, proven or not.”

The Right of the People

Amendment II (from US Constitution – Bill of Rights)

A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

This is a highly charged and emotional issue but the wording is straight forward and unambiguous. The stumbling blocks in the wording are “A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, ”

The ultimate key to understanding, however, is “the right of the people.”

I, an individual, live in a FREE STATE that I will only be able to enjoy if I have the right to defend that state of freedom. Expand that to my family. We live in a FREE STATE and will only continue to do so if we have the right to defend that freedom. Both of these entities are composed of people; me, one person; my family, several people. Expand that further to our community. That is comprised of PEOPLE, individuals, families, friends, neighbors.
Expand again to the STATE, as in one of the 50 United States. Such STATES are comprised of the several communities of THE PEOPLE.

What is a militia? Before we became a country, the militia was essentially volunteer PEOPLE who could be called up to defend their communities and/or aid their neighbors in their defense. But whether it is a state of national government controlled military or a volunteer group, a militia is composed of PEOPLE, drawn from the families and communities of the several STATES of this nation.

Our forefathers knew of the possibility of tyranny both at home and abroad and provided this assurance of our ability to BE FREE.

As for background checks. We already have those to a limited extend but they are poorly enforced, if at all. The BIG question here, however, is how do these checks ensure a reduction in tragic gun crimes? They don’t and can’t. Why? While some such tragic crimes have been perpetrated by people who met the letter of the law to obtain their weapons, most, and especially the criminals and terrorists, obtain their arms on the ‘black market’, in foreign countries, or by outright theft. No background check will ever break that cycle. I do not, in all honesty, know if that cycle can be broken.

I do know that if the second amendment can be voided, ALL OF US will lose our precious freedom and that I will not countenance. Nor should any thinking human being allow it.

Just rambling on

Well, I haven’t posted anything the last two days. There are times when you just can’t wrap your head around writing. Instead, I spent time playing various computer games and chatting with friends online. Interesting world, online. So many barriers just don’t exist there. Even with the advent of web cameras, you still get to meet people you would never have met either because they were too far away or you could not grow past your prejudices. Luckily I started out online before cams were available, much less popular. All you had to go on was what people typed at you. What mattered was making contact, learning, exchanging ideas and making friends.

You soon learned to weed out the stupid ones and prejudices fell by the way side as people met other people. Over the years I have met many of my online friends irl (in real life – for those who don’t know) and only ever had 2 bad experiences. One was my fault for being terribly stupid.

In the 40+ years I have been online, I have learned a lot and grown nearly as much. Once you open your mind, many things become possible. Try it. You might be surprised. I have been, many times.

It’s my birth month

and this year I will just a little older than I ever was before. Only two people, both women, have ever correctly guessed my age and one of those was last year 3 days before my birthday. Hopefully I don’t really look my age.

What’s the point of this? We all get older. No way around it and no sense in being upset about it. It is as natural as breathing. For my birthday, a girlfriend of mine in Tasmania sent me this lovely dress. One of the best presents I ever received and it does, if I do say so myself, look good on me.

So, since we all get old – accept it as a fact of life and continue to enjoy life. It is too short not to enjoy it and if YOU enjoy it, others will see that and enjoy too. At least we cam hope they will.

What you once had may be gone, but at least you HAD it. What you once did is done, but, for good or ill, you DID it. Count your blessings and always be thankful for what you have. Oh yes, and ALWAYS tell that special someone, family member, friend, or significant other, how much you love them. Love given grows. Love hidden dies. If you positively affect even one life, you have more wealth than any millionaire.

new birthday dress 4 130416-070943

What makes a person who they are, male or female?

Not an easy question but now that I have asked it, I am going to have to express some opinion on the matter. If I get some or all of it wrong, don’t chastise me, educate me. After all, I am still learning to be one.

Your body is only PART of who you are, be you male or female. Your genes dictate the shell you are born into and that usually defines who you are SUPPOSED to be. Inside, however, there are hormones and while these are usually ‘in sync’ with your body, often times they are not. Variations in the hormones produced affect the way you think and feel about yourself; how you identify yourself. Should your balance me more female than male, you might be a cross dresser, trans-vestite (usually a fetish type thing) or other trans-gender person.

Sometime the hormones balance so far OFF from your birth gender that you are certain you were born into the wrong body. In this case, you might be a boy trapped in a girl body or vice versa. You are likely to be a trans-sexual and the only real fix for this, along with everything that goes into determining if this is they way you must go, is something called SRS, sexual re-assignment surgery. This, I am told, is not an easy road and fraught with all kinds of personal and professional challenges. Professional help in the form of counseling is essential to achieve a proper post surgical balance. I know several persons who have gone this way and they are happier now that they are the correct person.

One of my dearest friends I have never met in person. We met online when I was still exploring the girl in me and she was just making the painful adjustment from married man to single woman. During those years, we were ‘there’ for each other online, helping each other over those necessary trials. These shared experiences brought up close together and I cherish our history.

As for me, my body is fine but my being is a happy well adjusted woman now that I have fully accepted that part of me. I failed three times as a husband. In retrospect I believe it was, at least in part, due to me having to hide my femme self from everyone around me. Afraid to lose all that I felt was important to me, I lost it anyway. I realized at last that I was incomplete because I could not be ME entirely. Now I am and I haven’t been happier.

I did not touch on my physical body in this brief letter. As important as the various aspects are, they are, mostly window dressing. They help you identify who you you see as being male or female. That breasts are vital to a woman, both emotionally and psychologically, cannot be overlooked. Men, generally haven’t a clue. And many men can’t even see past a woman’s breasts to see HER as a person. Sad.

Who you are is partly defined by the body you were born into, your social conditioning (family and so on), education, and your internal chemistry and adjustments.

We are, who we are. We become what we must.